Overdose

Oh shit. Oh fuck. Dude, are you okay? Shit. Oh man. How are you feeling? Are you alright? You should sit down, just take a seat on the couch here. You weren’t supposed to do both of those lines, dude. That was supposed to be, like, one for each of us. I know you can handle your ket but—oh man. Ohhh Christ. No you’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna be fine, it’s just—duuuude you were not supposed to do ‘em both, man. I was pullin’ like a surprise Russian roulette: it was one line of coke and one line of ket (heh, that rhymed). One of us would be talkin’ a mile a minute and the other’d just be like soooo out of it, you know? It would’a been hilarious, but . . . well, you were only supposed to do one of ‘em. Shit, are you feeling okay? Fuck, oh fuck man, you probably need to purge, don’t you? Okay, alright, let’s get you to the bathroom. Can you stand up? I’ll help you, come on. There you go, alright, here we go. It’s not too far, just a few steps, you can make it. There we go. Okay. Now just kneeeel down, just like that, aaaaand purge! . . . No? But dude, you have to. I know, it’s no fun, but—dude, you could die. Okay, alright, that’s okay, no big deal, I can make you purge. C’mon, open up. C’mon. Okay, now—hey! Don’t bite my finger, you asshole, I’m trying to save your life! You should be so grateful. Alright, I’m going in with my finger again, now just . . . stop . . . struggling . . . and . . . there we go! Ugh, gross, but okay, you’re gonna be alright, it’s gonna be okay, you’re gonna be fine, just let it all out, and . . . Hm. Well, now that I think about it, vomiting probably isn’t going to get rid of something you snorted, right? Yeah, maybe I should’a thought that one through. Sorry about that. But that’s fine, you’re probably better off without all that alcohol in you anyway, right? But okay, you’re still not doing great, so now . . . Fuck, I have no idea. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck, dude, I can’t call an ambulance, do you have any idea how much trouble I’ll get in? Okay: think, think, think. . . . Oh!

Oh I know! Okay, just hang on, I know what to do, just sit tight, alright? Yeah, you’re not goin’ anywhere. Okay, I’ll be right back! . . . WHEW okay here we go here we go, brain’s movin’ just

fine now, thoughts and ideas flowin’ like, like, like water down a waterfall or somethin’, whatever, you know I’m no writer, but okay, I can handle this now, you’re gonna be just fine, don’t even worry, ‘cause I know what I’m doin’. Narcan—do we got any Narcan? That’s the stuff, right? That’s what you take when you OD. They were handin’ out free Narcan at that at that at that at that one place we went to that one time right do you remember? But we took some, right? Or maybe I didn’t, but you took some, right? Always lookin’ out for others, that’s you, you’re a real good friend, you know that? That’s why I gotta look out for you, that’s why I gotta take care of you right now in your time of need ‘cause I know you’d do the same for me if our positions were switched. But okay lemme just look through your bag real quick, you gotta have some, right? Hey. Hey! Right? Okay, you don’t know, that’s fine, I’ll just look anyway. . . .

Dude you got nothin’ but that’s okay that’s—Hey! Eyes open, eyes open. C’mon, eyes on me, you’re gonna be fine dude you just gotta keep your eyes open, okay? You good? Okay okay, Plan B: Can I DoorDash some Narcan? Where’d I leave my phone, where’d I leave my phone, where did I leave my . . . Ha! Okay okay okay, now just pulling up the DoorDash app aaaaand . . . Do you think CVS would have it? Yeah of course CVS would have it, they’re a pharmacy. Okay, let’s see, Plan B, let’s see, Plan B, let’s see, Plan B, let’s—aha! Oh thank God it’s—no wait that’s Plan B, I’m looking for Narcan, hahahaha. Can you imagine, though? But okay, right, the task at hand! . . . Yeah, doesn’t look like they have Narcan on DoorDash, can you believe that? This country’s going through an epidemic and you can’t even access the, the, the, like resources or whatever; it’s like they just want us to die. No you’re not gonna die, you’re gonna be just fine, don’t worry, just keep your eyes open and on me, alright? You’re doin’ great. Eyes open? Eyes open? HEY. Okay there we go see you’re fine just keep ‘em open, keep ‘em open. Fuck, okay, our options are dwindling: puking did nothing, DoorDash is useless, and I am absolutely not calling 911 under any circumstances. So what the fuck should I do? Think think think. . . . Okay, buddy, you’re

probably not gonna like this idea but the way I see it we don’t have any other option: I’m gonna just have to drive you to the hospital, myself. I’ll drop you at the door and bail so that way I don’t get in any trouble, and they’ll see you clearly having a medical emergency and perform their lifesaving procedures on you. It’ll all be totally fine! Now, I may not be in the best condition to drive right now, but I should be good after just a liiiittle bump. . . . WHEW alright man are you ready ‘cause we gotta fuckin’ go! C’mon, to your feet, c’mon, you got this, uppenaddem there we go there we go there we go. Wow you weigh like fuckin’ nothin’, man, this is awesome, I could do anything right now. Alright, to the door, let’s go here we go, to the—Fuck! Are you okay, man? Sorry about that, you just fell right outta my arms there. Bashed your head pretty good on the table, are you okay? That oughtta keep you awake though, huh? Hahaha you’re fine, no worse than you were doin’ before. Okay, take two, here we go, out the door aaaand lemme just make sure I lock it behind me real quick. And there we go and here we go, down the steps: aaand one, aaand two, aaand three, there we go, no big deal, we got this. Now just a few more steps to my car, c’mon, we’re almost there, aaaand. Fuck. I forgot my fucking keys. Okay, no big deal, you just sit tight right here and I’ll be right back. Keep your eyes open and try not to go anywhere! . . . And I’m back—hey! Eyes open, eyes open, c’mon, eyes on me, there you go, there you go, you’re fine, see, you’re alright. Into the car, seatbelt on—safety first, right?—and here we go! . . . Just as soon as I pull up the directions on my phone. . . . And here we go! Don’t worry, man, we’re on our way to the hospital; shouldn’t be too long since there’s no traffic at two in the morning. You doin’ alright? How ya feelin’? You okay? Hey! Hey! Eyes open, eyes open, don’t die on me now, c’mon, we’re gettin’ you some help, you’re gonna be just fine, now just keep your eyes open and on—OH FUCK! . . . What the fuck was that? Oh my god. Oh my god. Fuck. Ohhhh fuck, was that . . . ? What the fuck is a kid doing in the middle of the street at two in the fucking morning? Oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck. Dude, I . . . Fuck, man, I can’t deal with this right now! I’m so sorry, dude. Oh Christ, I’m so sorry. I really don’t have any other option, man. Can you even still hear and understand me right now? God, I hope not. God, I really hope not. You really shouldn’ta done both of those lines, man. Y’know, this is kinda all your fault. If you’d just done one like a responsible drug-user then we wouldn’t be in this mess right now, that kid would still be alive and doing whatever the fuck he was doing at two in the morning. Fuck. I don’t deserve this, man. It’s not fair for you to take me down with you, y’know? I know you wouldn’t want that. If our positions were switched, I wouldn’t want you getting in trouble for all this. You’re fuckin’ done, anyway, you’re way too out of it, there’s nothing anyone at the hospital would be able to do anyway. I’m so sorry, man. Fuck, you got heavier all of a sudden. I should’a brought some more coke with me. Fuck. Okay, just keep your eyes closed, man, you don’t wanna see this. I’m so sorry. Just gonna lay you down right here. Fuck, I hope I’m not leaving footprints in all this blood. Just keep your eyes closed, go into the light or whatever. I’m real sorry about this, dude.